HOW TO CELEBR8 YO 69th ABORTION X0
Dearest x0's and otha's alike,
A 69th ab0rTion is a very special 0ccasi0n, equivocla to tha BoT or Bar MiTzvah f0 Jews aka cho emanciTraceion. C0incidentalquavia, b0th Natrukkuh and I b0th happened to have 0urs in tha same we@k, s0 we g0n 0uTline s0me tips and advice f0 celebraTin ch0 0wn, while als0 tellin sum sTories frum tha niTe.
As usualquavia, we sTarted 0ut by spendin tha evenin fr0sTin 0ur lips and pracTicin 0ur p0utin, as seen in dis pic. While walkin ar0und sTanley Park, we f0und an x0 g0d named Fendi wh0 t0ld us an inspirTraceional qu0te: "BeauTy is measured by tha size 0f y0ur tanning circles."We were touched and asked ha to take a pictcha t0 rememba dis m0ment:
AfTa acc0mplishin dis, we wus ready t0 pr0cede wiT da pr0cess. Obviouslovia we sTarted giTTin blak0ut, as we like to say, "BLAKOUT OR BAKOUT XO", and we cerTainly live up to daT sTandard. Durin dis pr0cess, we made sh0 to pracTice x0 faces daT wud seduce h0t b0ys aka b0ys daT seem h0t wen we blak0ut, faces such as dese:
and dis -
dis t00 
and dis
and dis.Once we had reached a guud level 0f blak0ut and acc0mplished 0ur faces f0 tha niTe, we made sh0 t0 call 69 cabz, cuz we like to wasTe tha fuk out of cab drivas time.
Den dis happened...
Da cab driva said, "Are chall caucasian?" we knew wuT daT meanT and we knew wuT tha FUK to do. SO we make an emergency sTop to tha l0cal tannin sal0n and br0ke tha fuk in and tanned f0 69 minuTes, afTa achievin a suITable gl0w makin 0ur ethniciTy quesTionabla, and reapplyin fr0sT, we wus ready.
While at tha club, we decided to go by tha name of Pam and Rod, cuz we th0t it wus h0t n shiT. We d0nT remmeba much afTa dis (we wus blak0ut afta all), but neiTha 0f us w0ke up at h0me (and pr0digy were b0th g0t gangbanged n shiT cuz were b0$$y)
Pam made sh0 t0 pik R0d tha fuk up fr0m his l0Traceion, and wenT str8 to roXXXy burger cuz we were t0ts hungover, and then str8 to buy sum morning after pill (omg we were soo totally hungover).
S0 remember babes, when celebraTing y0ur 69th ab0rTion always make sure to:
- perfecT all your faces f0r tha niTe, this is your niTe to shine (or get taken advantage of)-you're worTh it.
- PracTice fr0sTing your lips repeaTedly.
- If you woke up in your acTual bed well leTs jusT say mission NOT accomplished.
- If your cab driver asks if you're caucasian and you are caucasian, you're disgusTingly pale, so break into your tanning salon ASAP.
- LasTly, your Tots hungover and your stomach hurts from the morning afTer pill, so indulge in sum gourmeT f00d at roXXXy burger.
Luv always,
x0 biTches
January 21, 2012:
y0 trukkuhs:
today, amidsT riTin tha mel0dy fo a seri0us s0ng, I came up wiT dis s0ng n shiT, inspired by all tha x0's i n0 and luv.
h0pe chall like it! x0
Wake up,
Where's my m0mmy Im hungry!
I told her, "Cook my eggs right!
Damn right."
And I put a little frost on,
Blow my mom a kiss,
You know no one could hate me with an ASS LIKE THIS
Cause I'm a h0t girl
& I got sum pr0blems,
FrosT and p0uT my lips,
Just try to resist this,
Selfies in the mirror,
I feel so sexy,
But what to wear, where to go, when to leave, who to fuck, WHY NOW!?
Those are my hot girl problems,
MM ya, my hot girl problems.
At tha club you know the boys,
Buy me drinks,
You know I flirt with just,
A few little winks,
And when you ask me who I are,
Stupid question bitch, I'm the bar star!
And I put a little frost on,
Blow the boys a kiss,
You know no one could hate me with an ASS LIKE THIS
Cause I'm a h0t girl
& I got sum pr0blems,
FrosT and p0uT my lips,
Just try to resist this,
Selfies in the mirror,
I feel so sexy,
But what to wear, where to go, when to leave, who to fuck, WHY NOW!?
Those are my hot girl problems,
MM ya, my hot girl problems.
Now I know I may seem,
Just a bit narcassistic,
& you may wonder if I,
Have a deeper side,
But think about it this way,
Please do,
If you were me,
you'd be cocky too!
And I put a little frost on,
Blow my friends a kiss,
You know no one could hate me with an ASS LIKE THIS
Cause I'm a h0t girl
& I got sum pr0blems,
FrosT and p0uT my lips,
Just try to resist this,
Selfies in the mirror,
I feel so sexy,
But what to wear, where to go, when to leave, who to fuck, WHY NOW!?
Those are my hot girl problems,
MM ya, my hot girl problems.
Love me or hate me bitches,
Either way,
This hotness wont fade.
x0
y0 biTchez!
welcum to tha x0 biTch fan club.
on dis page we will leTchall n0 any recommenTracions on wuTchu mite wanna do, wuT makeup chu shud wear, and lifesTyle quesTions!
As an !nTr0, here is a recenT pre-RoXXXy Sunday niTe ph0t0sh00t wit Aduminukkuh wearin a classic x0 biTch lipset: fr0sTed.
Enj0y!
T0 c0nclude dis segmenT, as x0 biTchez our final desTination was roXXXy.
0ur mindseT wus: blak0ut or bak0ut
our lipseT wus: fr0sTed
our skin was: ind00r tanned
0ur outfits were: sluTTy
0ur brains were: evacu8ted.
f0ll0w dis and nukkuhs will think chu is a h0t x0 biTch!
stay tuned fo m0 x0 articlas:
x0
Trac3's
