Trace

Monday, September 5, 2011

XQUA

One time I met dis b!tch:

Her name is fukin XQua. M0st nukkahz believe her tru fuKin name iz Xianghua but it a!nt. Get to kno th!s b!tch because she mite fuk!n approaCh y0u iF u fuk wit us. XQua can also appear in a more realistic f0rmation such as:

or d!s:

however, chu are m0st lik3ly to caTch an XQua on a fuk!n 3lephant.

XQua likes to sTay t!te by f!ndin templ3z t0 sQuail on. u can alm0st alwayz catch ha h3re, saying ha fav0rite quoteeshia (00:33):

sumTimez chu jusT g0tta reaLize: if chu call dis bitch Xianghua, M!nuikkah w!ll have 0pini0nz abouT it.

If chu need pr0pa pr0ncounciTraceion on tha nam3, ask Natrukkah or da b!tchez in tha fUkin ph0t0graphs.

Friday, August 26, 2011

UNDA MOTHAFUKIN CONSTRUXXXTI0n

D0NT FUKIN HAVE 0pin!onZ YET . THA RETURN OF TRACE CHR!sT WILL blasT YO A$$ wen CHU L3AsT EXXXpecT!n. b fuK!n prePared t0 gaT y0 fuk!n ey3balz rIte tha fuK outch0 f@CEs!!!

pce n bless!ngz!!!

Traces

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

UPDATEQUAASHIA!!!:: Minuiwukkuh $candal

Trac3's:

Kasia Klemarewski aka K@$h m0n@y has evacuated to Californukkuh, presumablondron cuz ha a$$ cudnt handla all the drama surroundin ha affair wit Minuiwukkuh. Dis makes on wonda wus tru bcuz why wud she n33d to evacuate if she didnt do dat sh!t??? Chu answa dat.

Meanwhile, there has b33n sum advancemaquashons with Minuiwukkuh n Natrukkuh. Reportedly, when Minuiwukkuh asked Natrukkuh how she cud make it up to ha a$$ she said dis, "Chu have to eat Simon shit and then barf in mah vagina." Dis video sh0ws Simon producin tha sh!t fo Minuiwukkuh:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UiY6OguolJo

We still do not n0 wus gon happen in dis drama, but we h0pe fo da besT....we gon hav to wait till Kash Money cums bak from Californukkuh so we can gat ha and find out the truth.

Chu no chu trust mah weave.

xoxo

Trac3

Monday, April 4, 2011

$$$$$$caandal!!!!!!!

Wus trukkin Trac3's.

SPOTTED: Minuiwukkuh flirtin wit a nukkah named Kash m0nay....

Now nukkuhs, we know Minuiwukkuh tends to be flirty, but some reliabl@ sources have told our a$$es that she fuked ha quik n sl0 in tha park....

It was dis photo that had nukkahs wundrin' if minuiwukkuh wus up in ha pants eatin ha pu$$y...

.... Aight trukkuhs....we dunT n0 wut to say so we gon letcha'll hav opinionz on dis one. Is dis the 3nd of Natrukkuh n Minuiwukkuh??? Dats fo chu to decide.

xoxo

Trac3

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

wATeva.

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Trac3's DOMITRACION guide to n3w y0rk c!ty

WUS TRUKKKIN TRACES

Afta DOMITRACIN New YOrk f0 tha s3cond time with z0l0ndr0n, I th0t i cud g!ve yall nukkahs sum t!ps on h0w to domiTrace n3w y0rk y0 selves.

1. Weave: bring ALL YO WEAVES TRACES, yu dunt want nukkahs f0rgettin the name: Trace.

2. Iguana: l00k f0 tha crystalliz3d Iguana in NYC, 0nce chu f!nd it, you'll n0 wus rite n telacious.

3. Etiquette: f0ll0w tha dictracionary on c0mm0n use of words so chu n0 what to say when a nukkah asks wus tru witchu. ie: when someone asks you wutchu study in school you say,"BLACK SLANG", just like it says in tha section on tha site.

4. Lifestyle: Neva sl33p fo eva. When in dis city, try to make a impressioTracion on as many nukkahs as chu can. By sl33pin, chu l0se 69 h0urs of time to share tha lifestyle.

5. Goals: Find a suga daddy, find crystalz, trampla as many sp0ts as chu can, and truk as much as chu can.

Most of aLL traces, jus keep it tite, do it rite, and stay p0ppin, telacious, tr0n, !guana, tru, quay quay, and guava to the Trac3 lifestyle, cuz dats wut TRACE CHRIST WOULD APPRECITRATE.

Tru.

QU0t3 0f th@ tr@c3 d@yY

D!s qu0te cums frum a Vanc0uva tr@c3 nam3d MUK NUK.." Thought aboutcho a$$ today while gittin on tha bus, thought i would ratha ride chu than public tr@nsit mhmm!!!"

Trukkah n0's how to m@ke a nukkah p0p ha sm!l3 0ut :)

Tru.

Monday, February 21, 2011

How to talk to @n Iguana.

Just incase chu wuz wonderin, talkin to an Iguana is an art and U dunt WaNNa FUcK sh!t up. So heRe are a Few basiC st3pz to h3lp YO TRUKKAH ASSES OUT:

Simon

1. Tha appRoach: quick N slow.
2. Tha st@nce: Tr@ce stance. if u dunt no wut dis is by n0w u beTta evacuatecho lyfe.
3. Tha communiquashia: Dis cud be Tr!cky cuz most Iguanas iz qu!te de@f so u Have to yell with yo loudest sh0ut!!!! (NoTe: alllll Iguanas namez is SIMON. n0t Trace. Iguanas is tha only TrAce animalondrallon that we CANNOT call TrAce cuz if chu do they fe3l disrespected and they gun HATCHU and when igUanas HATCHU yo may as well GATCHO own Weave r!te tha FuK out yo Skull) anywayz m0st Iguana like it wen u m@ke sum s0rta stAtement sUch as "Y0 CH33KBONEZ IS POPPIN TODAY SIMON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" juSt kiddin they actulondralon HATE dat sh!t cause all Iguanas KNo they ch33kbonez is P0ppin and they fe3l diSrespected When U make Obviousondrallonquayquay stateMents to they Asses. A staTement such as: "I GaTED Y0 PleBE ASS NUkkah AUNT SIMON tha Otha N!te then st0le all HA CRYSTALzzzz!!!!!!!!" wouLd be betta.
4. Tha touch: quick N slow

N0te: make sure to stay in propa TraCe stance tha EntIrelondron tyme othawiZe Simon feelz disrespected and will HATCHU!!!!!!!

Saturday, February 19, 2011

Natrukkah was serchin fo crystalz when...

she came acr0ss something wich was so tru and r!te that the crystal snatcha haself wouldav given at least 69 crystalz 4. Wen Natrukkah waz a ch!ld she was request3d and f0rced to g0 t0 sk00l and sum say wuz eve3n forCed to cre@te "projects". lukily she man@ged to stay tru to ha beliefs and truk thru it as ne Trace shUd. The phoT0 above represtondrallons jUst this. when a professondranuk asks u t0 r33d tha papa u betta show tha nuk wus g00d in tha real w0rld.

Iguana 4 lyfe s!nce birTh.

Thursday, February 17, 2011

just inc@se u wuz wonderin....

if Natrukkah and Adumanukkah had to be a f!sh on oppositondrallon day they would be the BARAQUANNAH becauz dat f!sh eAts everyth!ng in SiTe. w@tch tha FUcK 0ut!!!Tru.

Note: t33th like the legz of a T@rantula. st@yin t!te.